


Tears Of Lavender

by LoeysAeri



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: A much younger Lin Beifong, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst and Drama, Drama & Romance, F/F, Friendship/Love, I'm Bad At Tagging, Not Canon Compliant - The Legend of Korra, Psychological Trauma, Romance, Tragic Romance, don't know why i decided to write this, everyone deserves a soft kuvira, soft kuvira
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:42:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28254849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoeysAeri/pseuds/LoeysAeri
Summary: What's the point of remembering such a desperate time?What's the point of conjuring up the dark turn of it all?Especially when all you have left is guilt and regret.[COMPLETED]
Relationships: Korra/Kuvira (Avatar)
Comments: 36
Kudos: 29





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first Legend of Korra fanfic and Korvira one but these two have been my guilty pleasure for weeks now and I was inspired.  
> I hope you guys find it enjoyable as all the others are but don't be too mean, haha.

"That'll be five forty-five, please" Korra said softly, gripping the top of the cash register as she waited and watched the customer in front of her rummage through her wallet. 

When they emerged with the money Korra patiently extended her hand and the woman dropped a bill and some coins into it. Clicking open the register she caught a faint, stray scent of lavender when she put the cash away. Korra took out the ladies change and went to hand it over when another whiff of the flowery scent tickled her nose.

Where was that coming from? She glanced at the woman who dropped the coins into her wallet and despite herself, Korra tipped forward a little and discreetly sniffed the air around the customer but upon smelling nothing she backed up with a confused expression.. The woman turned away from the counter with her purchased food in hand and walked towards the exit, leaving behind a skeptic Korra and the no longer circling scent of lavender. 

"Whatever," she mumbled, taking the liberty of wiping off the counter; moving across the top and letting one of her employees take her place at the front. 

Korra owned this small Café, a small joint she painstakingly saved up for right out of college, but it was hard to differentiate her from a regular employee and the store's boss. She was more hands on than any owner who stayed cooped up in his back office dealing with paperwork and shipment orders but it didn’t mean she was an incompetent owner either. All her employees knew how meticulous the female could be and always tried to do their best in her presence. 

When Korra got to checking the pastry case that insistent smell of lavender resurfaced but this time stronger and something in her stirred as she tried to focus on switching out empty trays for new ones. 

"Hello, can I have an Ice Coffee please?" 

The voice came from behind Korra while she was reaching for a new batch of muffins and her body stiffened at hearing it. A low, sultry register that sent ghostly shivers down Korra’s back as if something or someone was running fingers down her body ever so slowly. 

"Oh, and can you add a blueberry muffin please" the person spoke up again. 

Korra couldn't move, she's forgotten how to. Her brain wasn't cooperating with her body and she just stood there as still as a statue holding a tray of blueberry muffins that were supposed to have already been put in the pastry case. The strong urge to turn around weighed on her, but she couldn't. 

"Boss?" She heard and a hand came down on Korra’s shoulder, making her jump and incidentally dropping the tray. 

"Shit" Korra swore and crouched to the floor, feeling like her breath was being cut short. 

"Sorry" she addressed the customer, still not looking; afraid to. 

"That's alright, I can order something else" somehow she could tell the customer was smiling, she just felt it and with that thought an image flashed across her mind and she bolted upright. 

Korra turned away from the scene, "can you handle that? I'll be back with a broom" she stated to another employee who was busy cleaning a coffee machine. 

As she retreated to the safety of her office she shut the door tightly behind her and tried to breathe. Taking in slow, shaky breaths and then releasing them. She slid down the hard wood door to the carpeted floor repeating her actions until she felt steady airflow run through her lungs. Korra didn't move from where she sat instead she pulled her knees to her chest and hugged them, closing her eyes but that proved to be a bad idea because soon her mind was drifting. 

  
  
  


_"Come on Korra, we'll be late for class," Asami gripes as they rush to get ready. The two had slept in after staying up late studying for the exam happening that morning._

_"I'm trying, I only have two hands!" Korra exclaims, frantically trying to pull on some random pair of jeans she picked up off the floor._

_She throws on a plain black shirt and fixes her hair with her hand haphazardly, all the while having her toothbrush between her lips and sorting out her stuff at the same time. Asami looked even more ridiculous with her miscalculated buttons making it look as if a three year old tried to dress themselves._

_When they finally tumble out of their dorm they run all the way to the main hall and towards class, checking the time every few seconds on their way there. They only had two minutes left. Suddenly Korra smashes into something hard and goes falling back with a cry of surprise and Asami skids to a stop to look back at her in equal shock._

_"Ah, damn it, I'm so sorry. I wasn't paying attention" Korra hears someone address her in a smooth, low tone, something she found instantly pleasant before she sees a hand obstruct her view._

_"Let me help you," they offer. Without a second thought, Korra obliges and grabs onto the person's hand. They were bigger compared to hers and calloused; they felt nice._

_"Korra" she hears Asami whine worriedly as she jumps from foot to foot, head darting from her best friend to the direction of class._

_That’s when the earlier panic resurfaces inside her and she finally looks at the person ready to hurriedly express her thanks but when she does, Korra feels like everything in that moment stopped and a wayward scent of lavender drifts into her nose sending a calm feeling through her._

_The female in front of her wasn't anybody Korra knew or has met around the school before but looking at them now she wondered why? She was beautiful and tall enough to stand out. Her hair was black and soft looking, pulled back in a long braid with a few strands framing her face and features so angular and smooth it almost seemed not of this world._

_But her eyes were what rooted Korra to where she was. They were a captivating deep emerald green and her steady gaze was highlighted by the small mole underneath her right eye. When she snapped out of her shocked state, Korra realizes that the other girl was smiling; it was a pretty smile._

_That’s when Korra was ripped away and pulled down the hall far away from the stranger who just stared after them._

  
  


_******_

_It was late in the evening and Korra trudges through the busy lounge area, heading to the library to get a textbook she needs for her advanced business classes. Luckily they had made it for their test that morning, she really needed it to boost her grades even though it was just a small required class._

_Korra politely waves to students she knows well and soon enters the vast library, already making a beeline for the textbook section where she had picked up all her other business and entrepreneur material. She scans the shelves, slowly looking for the correct book but Korra furrows her brows slightly when she couldn’t spot it and goes over the books once more, this time, she looks up to a higher shelf noticing the familiar binding the professor had shown in class._

_Why did it have to be on such a high shelf? Korra sighs before stretching her arms to reach for it and groans as she pushes herself up on her tiptoes for more length but her fingertips only graze the spine._

_"Oh, come on" she grunts._

_At that moment Korra feels a presence behind her and instinctively jumps, only to hit something soft. They reach forward and press into her and Korra looks up to see a girl grabbing the book she was just struggling to get but they took it with a little more ease thanks to the gift of a few more inches to their height._

_"Here, I got it" they say and Korra recognizes the female from this morning when she glances down with the same smile that has been plaguing her mind all day, making Korra’s stomach tickle._

_"T-thanks" she stutters._

_The girl hands Korra the book and to her disappointment, backs away. There was just something about that calming lavender scent and the other girl’s warmth, she unconsciously wanted more of. Korra turns around so she can properly face the other who seemed more beautiful now that she wasn't in a rush._

_"No problem, I always like to help," she says._

_"I haven't seen you around before" Korra states, feeling awfully shy under the female's soft but certain gaze, those captivating eyes just taking her in, "are you new?"._

_The girl chuckles to herself. "Technically no, but something came up last year and now I'm redoing some of my classes" she explains while stuffing her hands in her pants pockets, looking down at her shoes._

_Korra thinks she seems very cuddly in this moment with her soft pullover, jeans and her hair still the soft braided hairstyle it was this morning._

_"I'm Kuvira, by the way" she introduces and peers back up at Korra from under her lashes, creating flutters in her chest._

_"Since we'll be seeing each other more, we might as well get acquainted" Kuvira continues and lifts her head fully, giving Korra a bright grin that had her melting even more, "because you seem like a really interesting girl, Korra"._

_Surprise laces Korra’s features and she stares at Kuvira’s smiling face. "What? How did you know my name?" she asks incredulously._

_Kuvira stands up straighter and saunters closer to Korra who slightly moves backward towards the shelf, feeling the beats behind her ribs pick up. Kuvira watches her keenly and stops a few steps in front of Korra before reaching out and tapping on the things she was holding._

_"Your notebook" Kuvira answers simply, eyes shining. Korra looks down to see her name scrawled across the front of one of them and blushes._

_"Oh. Yeah, that's me" She says bashfully, not noticing she was pouting._

_Somehow Korra wishes the other girl had taken an interest in her after their first encounter to ask around for her name but that was just hopeless thinking, she wasn't in some television drama. Just then she feels a hand atop her head and a soft ruffle of her hair, Korra glances up and Kuvira was a little closer than she was before._

_"Cute" she comments and while Korra stared into the others gem green eyes, a deeper blush envelopes her cheeks._

_"But I was joking" Kuvira steps back and turns around so her broad but feminine back faced Korra._

_"Your friend called you that this morning" She peers over her shoulder at a still blushing Korra before waving and exiting the library._

  
  
  


Loud banging is what woke Korra up. She jolted to an upright position, disoriented and confused as to where she was for a moment before seeing her work desk to the far right. She was still in her office. 

The banging continued and the café owner looked behind her at the door, she groaned and pushed herself up off the floor. Korra opened it to see one of her employees, Mako, a nice guy but can be a little too serious at times.

"What is it?" Korra asked with a yawn. 

"Were you sleeping in here this whole time?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow and Korra stretched her muscles. "Yeah, looks to be that way, why?"

"Well it's closing time, most of the staff has gone home" Mako informed and she gave him a surprised expression.

"Shit, really? Damn I must have been out for a while. Well you can go home, I'll lock up" Korra advised. 

"Really? It was my turn" she just nodded and stepped out of her office, closing the door behind her. 

"Alright, boss" Mako accepted, turning to go back to the front but he stopped and turned around.

"I saw what happened this afternoon, if you’re feeling tired take some time off. I'm sure Bolin could handle things around here while you're gone" he suggested. "Don't work yourself too hard, Korra" Mako leaves then and she is left to stare at empty space. 

Korra refused to think about that dream and proceeded to lock up the shop, going home before it got too late and she was tempted to go and drown the lump lodged in her throat. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some time off? What will that bring Korra?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank you guys for all the kudos and readers. I'm glad you guys are liking it. Although I was kind of deep in my feels when I wrote this, haha.

Korra liked walking through parks, especially in the fall when all the leaves have changed colour and were falling off their branches. 

Today was no different as she strolled along the trail that was scarcely scattered with people since most were either at work or in school. She had taken Mako’s advice and decided to cease working for a couple of days just to regroup herself because after that day she had felt disoriented and it was not ideal for Korra who liked to very much be in control of herself. 

She soon came to a clearing that housed a playground where a few small kids and their mothers were playing. Korra made her way over to an unoccupied bench and took a seat, cuddling up into her coat trying to fend off the chill in the air from touching any exposed skin. 

The laughter of the little kids drew Korra’s attention and she watched as a little girl and boy ran around, chasing each other while the mother shouted at them to be careful but the warning surely only met deaf ears. There were other kids on the swing and one other using the slide but at the top the boy looked a little scared as he stared down to where his mother stood at the bottom. 

"I'll catch you" the woman reassured her son with a smile.

The kid tentatively sat at the edge before pushing himself and squealed in what seemed like both fright and delight as his tiny body slid down into his mother's arms leaving them both in a fit of laughter and the boy asking for another go. 

_"Beautiful"_

Korra’s heart nearly stopped at the word and her blood ran cold at the voice that emerged from beside her. 

The organ behind her rib cage picked up speed and she felt it pulsing in her throat. Once again her body went stiff but this time she risked a glance and to her horror she saw a bit of an earthy green pullover and immediately turned her head away. 

No, this can't be happening, she was seeing things; hearing things.

_"Korra"_

The female shook her head, not wanting in on any part of this. The voice was so calming, so soothing, it felt real; she hated it.

_"Look at me"_

All Korra could do was continue to shake her head. Her throat felt closed up and gave her a shortage of breath, leaving her gasping for air. She kept her hands over her ears not paying attention to the weird looks people passing by were giving her. 

"Stop" Korra wheezed out, something unpleasant twisted in her chest. 

_"My beautiful Korra, look at me"._

The voice spoke again but this time it felt like it was being whispered right into Korra’s ear even though they were covered. A harsh clench to her heart caused him to react.

"NO!" She shouted, abruptly turning to the spot where she had caught a glimpse of the familiar sweater and Korra was shocked no one was there. The space beside her was empty and just a lone yellow leaf lay there fluttering in the wind. 

Korra then looked over toward the playground to see the kids and their mothers looking over at her, concerned and those passing by also did the same. She blushed heavily before getting up, stuffing her hands in her pockets and taking the trail back to the main city. 

_"Hey Korra, you and that girl, Kuvira, have been really close lately" Asami states._

_She sat on Korra’s bed reading through an engineering magazine that should've been her advanced finances textbook._

_"We take most of the same classes so it's only natural" Korra answered nonchalantly, typing away on her laptop at their dorm room desk while checking over her essay outline._

_"Yeah but I mean, really close" her best friend stresses the word 'really' and Korra could tell she had one of her mischievous smirks on._

_"What are you saying Asami? If you're trying to imply that we are anything more than friends then you're as dumb as you look" Korra huffs. "We are just university students who got acquainted by an accident"._

_She hears her friend chuckle and she rolls her eyes. "Come on, you are not telling me you don't feel the slightest bit of something for that girl?” Asami asks and Korra shakes her head._

_"No" ._

_"Liar" she says without hesitation closing her magazine, having found a new source of interest._

_Asami crosses her long legs and leans both elbows on her knees staring at the back of Korra’s head. "The way you look at her says otherwise"._

_This has Korra turning around with an incredulous look and Asami gives her a shit eating grin at her obviousness, even if her friend didn't see it herself._

_"I don't look at her in any kind of way!"_

_Asami holds up her hand in surrender. "All I'm saying is you two have been inseparable since you bumped into each other that day, months ago"._

_She goes back to her previous position and tilts her head a bit to look at her best friend's embarrassed gaze._

_"I've tagged along as the third wheel enough to know that the two of you are idiots who are completely oblivious to one another's feelings. Why don't you just tell her how you feel?" Asami advised._

_"Because I don't!" Korra shouted, "I don't feel anything for her…I don’t like her like that" she reiterates to Asami who only shakes her head, amused._

_"Then what about those little dates you guys go on?" The older girl asks which earns a deep blush from Korra._

_"Those aren't dates, they're just... outings" she was determined to deter her best friend's mischievous behaviour but truthfully her mind was going everywhere at her words._

_"You're really bad at being in denial" Asami gets out before a sudden knock sounds at their dorm door and she looks over at Korra with a smirk that makes the other want to punch her._

_"I wonder who it is," Asami sings sarcastically before hopping off the bed and padding towards the door. When it opens, Korra’s heart starts to race._

_Kuvira stands assuredly in the doorway and when she locks eyes with Korra, she smiles sweetly._

_"Hello Kuvira, we were just talking about you" Asami says and ushers the charming girl inside, only looking over to Korra to register her glare._

_"Oh really? I hope it was all good things" Kuvira chuckles and goes over to Korra and ruffles her hair affectionately._

_"Assignment?" She asks and Korra nods, eyeing how Asami peeped from behind Kuvira’s sturdy shoulders and watched the juicy scene and her best friend’s flushed face._

_"You look cute with glasses" Kuvira comments as she taps the side of the frame, filling Korra with nervousness and giving her an even more heated face. Asami looked like a little shit smiling like the Cheshire Cat behind her._

_"Thanks" Korra mumbles._

_Kuvira gives her a curious look as she asks, "Are you ready to go?"_

_For a moment Korra couldn't comprehend what she meant because she was still frazzled by her closeness and the always familiar flowery scent coming from her and her endlessly sparkling eyes._

_But Korra soon catches when she remembers their plans. "Y-yeah, I am. Just let me get my jacket" she stutters._

_She goes over to her closet and pulls out a blue jacket, pulling it over her shoulders and taking in Kuvira who was now sitting at the desk she had occupied moments ago._

_She was sporting the earthy green pullover she deemed as her favourite sweater and some blue jeans that hugged her legs nicely. She also admired her sharp jawline and high cheekbones and the cute mole she had an urge to kiss._

_Korra lied earlier. She knew she had an attraction to Kuvira but she just doesn’t want to admit it, in hopes she can push it away so that it wouldn't hurt their friendship. The other girl just doesn’t seem to be into girls. Korra has seen her with men here and there and whenever she asked about past relationships it was always about a boyfriend._

_"You sure you won't be cold without a jacket?" Korra asks, zipping up her coat and loving the way Asami has made herself scarce._

_She was back on Korra’s bed pretending to read her magazine as she peered over the top at the two girls. Korra could only shake her head at his friend's nosiness._

_"I'll be fine" Kuvira smiles at her, showing those straight, pearly whites that somehow enhance her emerald green eyes._

_She gets up and holds out her hand to Korra who's heart leaps as she stares at the big and slender appendage she's played with numerous times when they were taking a break from studying in the library and just lazing on the couch with open books and scattered papers in front of them._

_Korra hears someone clear their throat and she glances at Asami who grins, you couldn't see it since she was hiding the lower half of her face but Korra could tell by her crescent shaped eyes staring at them._

_Korra swallows around a lump and takes the males hand, immediately feeling the warmth it gives off._

_"Well, we're leaving. It's always nice to see you Asami" Kuvira says._

_"You too, Kuvira. I'm sure I'll be seeing more and more of you" the raven haired girl teases vaguely so that only Korra understands her insinuation and the other just blushes harshly._

_"Have fun, kiddies" Asami adds and Korra gives her a glare to which her best friend just laughs at._

  
  


*******

  
  


" _Korra? What's your favourite season" the two were walking along a park trail in the late evening when it was already getting dark out._

_Korra looks over at Kuvira puzzled but answers anyway. "Spring, why?"._

_"Ah, spring is nice too," she nods and for a second she doesn't say anything more and Korra feels even more puzzled._

_"But don't you think it's a gloomy time? It's when everything is at a standstill, unsure if it should warm up or stay cold, it's a season of alternate moods" Kuvira states, adding more to Korra’s confusion but she indulges._

_"Spring is not gloomy, it's when everything is coming back to life and rebuilding itself" Korra argues, "at least it's not as bad as winter.”_

_Kuvira hums but she peers over at Korra with a smile and a shake of her head. "Winter isn't gloomy Kor"_

_Her eyes widen at the new nickname and Kuvira soon links their arms unbeknownst to her that the girl beside her was suddenly having problems breathing._

_"Winter is pretty lively once you stop looking at the angle of it just being a cold season. Once you look at it as winter itself you'll see how active it actually is compared to spring" Kuvira goes on as they continue to walk down the trail passing families or couples out on a stroll._

_"Okay Ms. Seasons expert, what's your favourite?" Korra asks, feeling comfortable with Kuvira clinging to her._

_"Easy. Fall" she says immediately and Korra gives her a face._

_"Really? That's even worse!" She exclaims. "And you were just talking big" Korra scoffs._

_Kuvira let's go of Korra and feels cold instantly. She looks at her companion who pouts at her with her arms folded and Korra melts on the spot, this was a new side to Kuvira she was seeing and she loved it._

_"How dare you say fall is worse when you like spring of all seasons" she walks beside Korra now with sulking shoulders. She looked cute._

_"Okay okay, I'm sorry" Korra apologizes with a laugh and boldly goes over to her and wraps her own hands around her arm, pulling it so that it flopped to between them and she could cling to it._

_Korra stared up at Kuvira who was already looking down at her and chuckling. She would be lying if she said she never noticed how soft and inviting Kuvira’s lips looked and on occasion thought of how it would feel against her own, but much like other times she dismissed the idea as a blush surfaced._

_Korra looked ahead when she noticed they were coming up to a clearing that opened into a park. She saw kids lounging around the ply area. Korra wasn’t aware that there was such a thing around here and Kuvira drags her over to a vacant bench._

_"Why do you like fall?" She suddenly asks._

_Korra watches the highschool like kids and for a minute she didn't hear the other speak and was about to turn towards her when she felt a finger under her chin, tilting her head up._

_"This is why" Kuvira’s low, sultry voice drifts toward her with the wind._

_The sky had turned darker and the moon was now out and shining. Korra looks above her at the full trees with colorful leaves glistening and shining under the bright glare of the moonlight and she gasps._

_There were even a few stars in the sky you can see since they are a fair distance from city lights. The wind has picked up and the leaves sway on the branches like water rippling and some stray fallen leaves get picked up and start swirling around overhead._

_"In fall the night comes faster and darker, letting you see the beauty of natural shining light on nature" Kuvira speaks._

_"In fall with the colourful leaves swirling around it feels as if you are in a magical land of beautiful colours" she says. "To me, liking a season isn't depending on the weather, to me it's which one brings out the beauty of the nature it changes. Fall does that, spring muddles everything into a haze of indecision"_

_Her voice was soft, low and smooth, sending a calming sensation through Korra who leans back and watches the leaves of the trees move with the wind._

_"Lovely" Kuvira states and Korra nods absently in agreement._

_"Kor" she calls and the blue eyed girl feels the females fingers once again against her skin and heat rises to her cheeks._

_"Look at me" Kuvira whispers and Korra’s heart drums in her chest._

_The charming and pretty woman turns Korra’s head so they were facing each other and she wonders how the other got so close. They were only inches apart and Korra just stares into those beautiful eyes that could rival the purest of gems. A soft smile is playing on her lips that leaves Korra breathless at the beauty of the woman in front of her._

_"My beautiful Korra, look at me" Kuvira breathed, moving her face closer and shutting her eyes._

_Korra could feel the pulsating beats of her heart in her ears as she mimicked the others actions. She didn't know how much she wanted this until it was now finally being presented to her and when their lips finally met it was like Korra’s chest opened wider, enough to engulf the both of them and secure them together. Korra had never felt such sweetness._

_Feeling more than overwhelmed, Korra pulls away first and looks at Kuvira with shocked eyes._

_"But I-I thought you liked boys?" Korra questions, breathless._

_Kuvira smiles sheepishly, "I do" she says and something in Korra’s stomach drops but she continues on._

_"But I like you, Kor" Kuvira confesses assuredly and with a glint of determination in her eyes that made Korra’s body hot._

_"I like you a lot and I may not be well versed in liking another girl" she smiles the prettiest Korra has ever seen of her, "but I know I want to be with you. Will you accept me?"_

_Korra feels Kuvira’s thumb caress her cheek softly and a wave of emotions build up inside her. She couldn't speak so instead she closed the gap between them to taste the female's sweet lips once more._

  
  
  


She felt a violent shaking against her shoulder but Korra didn't care enough to check who was disturbing her. Her head was swimming and her body felt unlike her own.

Her stomach soon churned unpleasantly at the continuous harsh movement and it wasn't soon that she was chucking up her stomach on whatever surface she had been passed out on. 

"Gross, you idiot" the voice came to her muffled and disoriented but she could recognize it after spending so many years in their presence. 

"Asami?" Korra slurred, eyes still closed. 

"Yes it's me and you look absolutely wrecked, what happened?" Her best friend asked with worry, staring at the mess in front of her. Korra’s short brunette hair was tousled and sticking up in all directions as if she ran her hand through them one too many times. 

"I don't know. Where am I?" Korra questioned inaudibly but Asami somehow picked up what she meant and shook her head. 

"A bar. Come on, let's get you out of here" she pulled Korra’s arm around her neck and heaved her to her feet. The raven haired woman almost fell over from the others weight solely leaning on her. Asami nodded to the bartender, apologizing and then paid for Korra's last drink before guiding her wasted best friend to the front door and out into the crisp, cool air. 

"How did you know I was here?" Asami heard Korra croak, leading her towards her car. 

"Bolin," she said.

"He saw you earlier and tried to wake you up but you were out cold, he used your phone to call me" Asami sighed, setting the other into the passenger seat and buckling her in. Once she was in the driver's seat she started up the car and backed onto the street. 

Korra felt awful but it was her own fault for drinking that much. She rolled her head to the side and stared out the window at the passing buildings and cars. Her eyes scanned the sky but of course there were no stars, just a lonely moon.

"Why are there no stars?" She asked despite already knowing.

Asami looked over at her weirdly before setting her eyes back on the road. "Isn't it because of all the light pollution? Too many artificial city lights to see them" she explained. 

But with her all I ever saw was shining stars and beautiful things, Korra thought. Now looking at everything through her hazy gaze, it was ugly, nothing looked right. 

"Are you sure you're okay Korra?" Asami spoke up after some beats of silence.

"I haven't seen you drink this much since… since University" she stated hesitantly, glancing over briefly in worry. 

"I'm alright" Korra reassured with a sigh before making herself more comfortable, still feeling a little sleepy and sluggish. 

"You know, Korra, even though we lead different lives doesn't mean we aren't still best friends. You can talk to me" Asami inquired as she switched lanes and made a turn, "I'll be here for you". 

Korra’s mind didn't know where to settle or how to settle. Drinking herself into a stupor has her thoughts all muddled and unpleasant, mixed feelings still coursed through her even though she tried to drown them in alcohol hours prior. 

"What's your favourite season, Sami?" Korra asked, closing her eyes.

"What? Why are you asking such a random question?" The older woman gave her a quizzical look. 

"Just answer," Korra said. There was a moment of silence as Asami pondered.

"Well, uh, summer? I guess. It's warm" she eventually answered and Korra just hummed as she drifted to sleep. 

"Mine is fall". 

  
  
  


"There we go" Asami placed a glass of water on Korra’s dresser beside her bed. 

The drunken woman was already cleaned up, dressed and tucked in and just staring at her ceiling, feeling the dip of the mattress as her best friend sat near her. 

"Remember if you’re having a hard time, just come to me" she suggested. "I know owning a café wasn't your ideal choi-"

"It's alright, Sami" Korra cut her off.

Asami watched her, who kept her eyes trailed on her plain white ceiling. She could sense something was bothering her but making Korra talk when she was set on keeping things in was like teaching a turtle to run faster. She'd have to wait until she was ready and Asami would gladly do so. 

She cared about Korra a lot, they've been friends since primary school and got into the same university together. They had years and years of friendship under their belt and each knew one another like the back of their hands and then some so this is why Asami decided to leave it alone, Korra would come to her when she was ready. 

"Have some water and get some sleep, whatever made you drink yourself into a wreck tonight, don't let it keep you up" Asami said as she got up from the bed.

"Night Korra" she brushed some hair out of her friend’s face before leaving the room. 

Korra listened as her front door closed and kept her eyes trailed above her. Why were all these things coming back? She had no want to remember those times, in fact she wished to forget everything and go about her life. 

University was supposed to be her best years but by senior year they took a turn for the worst and Korra had no one to blame but herself. She regretted it all.

_What are you thinking, Kor?_

She closed her eyes as the familiar drop to her stomach came whenever the voice whispered to her. 

"Stop, go away" she shook her head. 

_Why? I thought you liked it when I slept next to you._

Korra turned her back on the voice, facing the wall. She felt like throwing up whatever was left in her stomach. Her heart was aching like mad and she felt like she was losing her mind. 

"No, you're not real" she whispered.

 _Silly, of course I am. I'm right_ _here._

Korra felt soft fingers against her hair and she jerked away and brought the covers tighter around herself. Her heart was beating relentlessly against her chest and her eyes squeezed shut fending off the tears that threatened to come. This shouldn't be happening. All sorts of images were passing through her mind, that beautiful smile, those glittering eyes.

_Kor?_

"Leave me alone!" She found herself shouting, her chest tightening at the worry in the voice coming from behind her. 

_Why won't you look at me?_

Korra felt wrong. She felt like her mind was playing tricks on her and sending her into a frenzy of distorted memory. She didn't like it, the feelings that were consuming her were gray and dark. 

"Because I don't want you here" she breathed.

_Why?_

There was a plea in those words and Korra’s chest constricted more painfully. She wanted so badly to turn around and bury her face into the chest of the person behind her but if she did what would she find? What would be there? And empty bed, or worse; a full one? She didn't know anymore and the feeling of sadness and regret were attacking her and bubbling over. 

Despite her efforts to keep the tears away they spilled over and her body racked with sobs, those fingers, those ghostly fingers that she felt in her hair was enough to make him crack as she turned abruptly and shouted.

"Because you left me!" With a break in her tone. 

Through watery eyes she stared at the vacant spot in her bed and the empty bedroom void of anyone but himself. Korra just found herself staring at the spot beside her feeling all her twisted emotions run through her.

Korra doesn't know when she fell asleep but before she drifted off a voice inside her head spoke. ‘No, it was _you_ who left her’.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a shorter chapter guys.

For the next few days that she didn't go into work, Korra just lounged around her house doing anything to distract herself and keep her mind busy. She went out a few times on little errands but most times she would catch herself staring off into space, thinking about the lover in her memories. At times the voice would appear but Korra ignored it, she couldn't handle the thought of going crazy with a hallucination her brain had somehow conjured up from her deep residing guilt. 

One evening Korra busied herself with cleaning around the house; rearranging the furniture, mopping the floor, when she decided to clear out the storage room that has just been accumulating things that she didn't really need. 

She went over into the small room and looked inside to see all the boxes and scattered things from old clothes to some Christmas stuff she had used last year when Asami insisted she get into the holiday spirit, old textbooks she never got around to reselling on ebay and some other junk. 

Korra started by taking out the first few boxes and sorting out its contents, ultimately keeping none of it and putting them aside to be thrown out. She worked at it until she got to the built in little shelf tucked into one of the walls of the small space, sifting through everything there wasn't anything of importance on them until she reached the top shelf. 

Korra noticed a lone rectangular box sitting there and with confusion stretched up to retrieve it but when she took it down her mouth went dry and her chest tightened. The box was wrapped with faded blue paper and decorated on top were soft, foam like letters stuck in place that used to spelled out words but now some were missing. 

Forgetting about the cleaning she had been doing, Korra exited the storage space and went over to the living room, set the box on the table and stared at it. She reached over slowly and opened it, coming face to face with a cluster of little things that she vaguely remembered from when she was in university. But what caught her eyes were a set of photos that were tucked off to the side and Korra grabbed for them hesitantly. 

The first photo she remembered vividly, it was of her, Asami and Zhu Li when the three friends went to one of the many parties the seniors hosted, they were all drunk off their rocks but managed to take a decent photo for memory purposes; it had been a fun night. 

The next she knew was taken by Zhu Li when Korra and Asami were having a dumb contest on who could drink the most milkshakes. Asami had a look of determination in the photo as she sucked on her straw and Korra looked about ready to throw up; much like all their wallets did that day. She couldn't help but smile as she flipped through more of these reminiscent pictures.

Korra's smile soon fell when she noticed most of the rest were ones taken by Kuvira and the steady pounding of her heart filled the room. They were just of Korra either not knowing the camera was on her or smiling at it or more specifically; the person behind it. 

She felt her stomach knot at the thought. But when Korra got to the last picture a wave of emotions came over her and she put her hand to her mouth to somehow stop a sob from escaping; it was a simple picture, one solely of Kuvira. She was looking at the camera softly and the glistening of her ever shining eyes were captured perfectly along with her sweet smile that Korra had loved. 

It was really the only sole picture she ever remembered having of her and it was also the first thing she had put into this box and cherished it the most. Staring at it now Korra could see so much love coming from her eyes, Kuvira had always been the type to wear her heart on her sleeve. 

  
  


_ "Kor, I have a present for you," Kuvira kisses along her bare neck as they lay cuddled together in tangled limbs.  _

_ Their bodies finally coming down from the pleasurable high they just had. Korra looks up from where she is tucked against Kuvira’s ample chest.  _

_ "You do?". _

_ Kuvira chuckles while caressing her fingers through Korra’s hair, amused by her puzzled face. _

_ "Of course I do, did you forget?" She shakes her head.  _

_ Korra tries to think of what she could've done to deserve a present but she couldn't think of one, "yeah, I guess I did".  _

_ "You're so cute" Kuvira states and Korra pouts.  _

_ Kuvira lowers her head and kisses Korra’s lips. "It’s your birthday you dumb dumb, how could you forget that and I even got you something" she teased, "now, I don't think I should give it to you".  _

_ Korra bolts up in realization, she had really forgotten her birthday.  _

_ "No, I want it, what is it?" Korra asks but Kuvira only shakes her head playfully. _

_ "If you forgot your own birthday then I guess I forgot about the present I made for you.” _

_ "Vira" Korra whines, now sitting upright and pulling multiple times at her girlfriend to follow before she gives in with a bark of laughter.  _

_ “Okay, okay. Stop with the pouty lips and puppy eyes, my heart is bursting” Kuvira smiles brightly and eases out of her dorm bed. _

_ She grabs some underwear and a shirt while she retrieves her gift and Korra shrugs on a top. _

_ "It's not much since I didn't exactly buy it from anywhere but I hope you like it, it's something you can use a lot" Kuvira pitches as she rifles through her closet.  _

_ Korra watches closely, wondering what it could be that the other had made for her. "I'll love whatever you give me," she says truthfully.  _

_ Kuvira turns around with her hands behind her back and walks back over to Korra, who tries to take a peek but she twists away and sits at the edge of the bed.  _

_ Kuvira slowly brings the present into view from behind her back, smiling, and Korra looks at the nicely decorated box that had blue paper covering it and on top in foam letters read ‘Korra’s Treasures'.  _

_ She reaches out to take the box. “What is it?"  _

_ "A treasure box" Kuvira answers and taps above the word. _

_ "It’s for you to put in your most cherished things. I've seen you collect little trinkets from when we go out and thought that this would be a good gift. They don't really sell anything like it in stores so I summoned my inner craftsmanship" she laughs. _

_ Korra looks at the pretty box feeling happy and warm. She was happy that Kuvira put so much thought into it and happy that she paid such close attention to her to realize her little habits.  _

_ "I love it" she says finally and enthusiastically, grinning at Kuvira before lunging forward to envelop her in a crushing hug. _ __

_ "Well I'm glad because it was a mess in here after" they both laugh. "My roommate was so mad and scolded me," She says.  _

_ "So, what's the first thing you'll put in it?" Curiosity swirling in her eyes. _

_ Korra sat back and thought for a moment before snapping her fingers. "Do you have a camera?" She asks and Kuvira looks at her, puzzled.  _

_ "Do you mean my phone?" Reaching behind her to pull out the device but Korra shakes her head. _

_ "No, an actual camera, so I can go and get the pictures printed from it after" she tells her.  _

_ "Oh! I actually bought a Polaroid camera recently. The advertisement was very enticing" Kuvira states sheepishly and Korra couldn't help but giggle at her girlfriend's cuteness. She was known to spend money on the most bizarre things.  _

_ "That would be perfect" Korra nods and Kuvira goes to grab it from her dresser, handing it to her. It was a fairly big camera, green coloured.  _

_ "Okay" Korra raises the camera to her eye, aiming it at Kuvira who looks surprised, "smile for me".  _

_ Without hesitation Kuvira does just that and when the picture manifested from the small slot, Korra took it and fanned it in the air a little as the picture formed. When she looked at it her heart swelled, Kuvira looked so beautiful and cuddly. _

_ "Why did you take a picture of me?" She scoots closer and asks, glancing at the photo. _

_ "Because I don't have one" Korra tells her and opens the well decorated box to tuck the picture inside before looking back up at her girlfriend, smiling.  _

_ "And you're the first thing I want to cherish before anything else" she declares and when the words left her mouth her stomach fluttered with butterflies and her chest warmed.  _

_ Kuvira looked at her with a grin and wrapped her strong arms around Korra, pulling her gently into her chest for her own hug.  _

_ Korra burrows her head into her and takes a whiff of the sweet lavender scent that always came with Kuvira.  _

_ "Happy Birthday, Korra" she heard her beautiful girlfriend whisper into her ear.  _

  
  


Drops of water started falling on the picture and Korra knew it was because she was crying. She missed her a lot, so much but what weighed on her every time she thought of her past lover was the familiar guilt and regret. 

Carting through the box she found the paper cranes Korra used to fold for her and a small pink clip she had given her to use in her hair when it had gotten longer. There was even tickets for the amusement park date they went on and a little whale keychain from the aquarium; a cucumber sticker from the stupid farm Kuvira had jokingly brought her to, but made up for by then bringing her the next week to a strawberry farm to which she got a sticker for as well.

But Korra felt that it was time she got rid of anything that could bring these unwanted memories back; they were scary and brought her nothing but pain and even the good ones were laced with lingering sadness.

_ You used the box well, I'm glad.  _

Korra swiftly closed the box and ignored the voice. She didn’t want these feelings anymore, her emotions have been a heavy burden on her these last few days and she wanted it all to stop, to go back to normal. 

Korra knew if these things continued it would be the breaking point for her after all these years of finally building up a barrier in her mind. 

She walked over to the kitchen, nearing the trash can and opened it with her feet. Korra hovered the box over it now feeling a wave of uncertainty.

Is this really what I want? She asked herself. Throwing away my most precious treasures? To completely lose her? Korra thought of the lone picture sitting inside the box and her heart clenched, could she really do this? Could she really throw her away?

Isn't that what you did before? A different voice in Korra’s head griped, that sounded much like her own and she felt herself gasp at the pressure on her heart.

Shutting her eyes, Korra gripped the box tightly, her hand shaking. She tries to force herself to let go but her hands just wouldn't open and so in the end she put the box back where she found it. 

Korra knew that with keeping the box all hopes of forgetting were out the window and tucking that picture of Kuvira Into her bedside drawer wasn't going to help either.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. Enjoy.

"Mako, get the dough ready for the bread," Korra instructed the employee who nodded and quickly got to work at the station, where Bolin the head baker had already started on the new batch of Halloween cupcakes. 

"Varrick, stop sleeping and get to the front. Help Zhu Li with customers!" Korra shouted towards the male who was leaning against the flour dusted counter snoring away. 

He jerked at the loud disturbance and the other employees snicker at his appearance. Flour covered the side of his face and uniform. 

When Varrick passed by, Korra sighed and handed him a towel to clean himself off to which he nodded appreciatively and scurried off. 

"You seem to be back to yourself boss, it's good to see," Mako stated.

He kneaded in the ingredients, looking over his shoulder and smiling. Some of the other employees voiced their agreement and Korra wondered how off she was acting, that even though she tried to mask the internal struggle she was experiencing, it showed on the outside. 

She just hummed and retreated to the silence of her office, shuffling over to her chair and leaning back with a sigh.

"Am I really okay?" She questioned out loud before leaning over and laying her head on her desk. 

Korra had thought coming back to work would get rid of everything since her mind would be fully occupied but she still felt the same muddled stains of emotions. Maybe she should call up Asami and get everything off her chest because she was slowly driving herself into insanity.

_ You don't look okay. _

The voice always came when she was alone. Korra couldn't get used to hearing it, it messed with her head and heart. And with that voice always came the smell of lavender that she's come to feel bittersweet about more than anything. 

"And what do you know?" She spoke up, looking at nothing but the top of her hard wood desk.

_ I know you, Korra, and you look distraught. Can I help? _

Korra burrowed her head more into her arms, shaking her head. 

"What can you do? You're not even real" she indulged.

_ I am real, Kor. Why do you keep saying that? If you looked at me, you would see.  _

Korra bit her lip, willing off the tears that seemed to be drowning her these days. She shook her head, hating how her heart fluttered at the tenderness coming from the low, beautiful voice next to her and trying hard not to spin around and bury herself in those nonexistent arms.

"No," she stated. 

_ Would it help if you could come be with me? _

Korra was sobbing at this point because, yes, it would help so much If she had the courage to turn and look. But the fear of once again no one being there was too much to bear. 

Suddenly she felt warmth against her back and Korra’s heart skipped a beat only to pump harder against her chest. Soft fingers pressed into her and her sobs turned to cries as that lavender scent enveloped around her stronger than it has before.

"Why would you want me to be with you after what I did?" She asked between shaky breaths. 

_ Ah. But it was not your fault Korra, it was not your fault. _

The voice was coaxing and soothing. She felt a weight and warmth circle her hand and lace between her fingers, but Korra couldn't help but think that the voice was wrong.

Korra knew she was alone again when the feeling against her hand disappeared and a cold breeze blew against her back.

All types of thoughts were plaguing Korra’s mind but the one that trumped them all was the want to be with Kuvira. The feeling of security that embraced her a while ago was fuel to that thought.

She remembered how the girl would always be there for her on her bad days and coax her into talking with that calming voice. Korra wanted to see her again, wanted to feel her again, to witness that beautiful smile once more.

Just then loud yelling and talking came drifting through her office door. Puzzled, Korra got up and opened her door where a man and woman’s voices carried above the crowd of murmuring customers.

"Why do I always catch you talking to other women?!" Korra picked up as she joined some of her employees at the front.

When she glanced out onto the floor she saw the customers , some standing and some sitting, looking on.

"You have it all wrong! I wasn't doing anything, she was just asking me something" the male shouted back, fending off the woman's angry fists. 

"You were totally flirting with her!" The lady shouted again, taking her bag from her shoulder and swinging it at her partner, tears were streaming down her face. 

The male caught the bag and the woman just looked at him with a scowl. He took a breath and slowly walked closer to her.

"Stay away" she said stubbornly as she snatched her bag back and stepped back.

"I would never do that to you, honey" the male was trying to calm her down but she lashed out at him again and Korra signaled at two of her employees. 

"Go break that up" she orders and they both nod, jogging over to end the show.

Korra turned her back on the scene but not before calling to Bolin, telling him to close up shop so they can all take an early day off; the atmosphere ruined. 

Korra went back to her office to collect her things as everyone else tidied up for the night. She could hear customers talking over each other as they left and the loud couple was escorted out. Korra slipped on her jacket and pocketed her keys while shouldering her bag.

That night Korra lay awake in bed, her mind drifting from what happened in her office to the debacle that took place in the Cafe. 

To her despair it reminded her of a time back then and what started the downhill turn of events. If she could, those were the times she wished to go back and redo. She was a naive idiot, a selfish naive idiot. 

  
  


_ Her fists connect with Kuvira’s chest. It’s not the first fight they've had but Korra was becoming fed up.  _

_ "Why do I always see you flirting with those guy’s?" Korra shouts, they were in the dorm hallway and she couldn't care less who comes out to see. _

_ "Kor, I wasn't flirting with them; they were trying to get me to go out but I refused, why do you always think I will betray you?" Kuvira questions with a slight frown, something Korra hates to see, but at the moment she didn't care. _

_ "But it's all the time, you can't be that popular!" Korra whines, feeling furious that she was the only one who saw this as a problem.  _

_ Kuvira was so passive about it but the truth is, she was popular and that added to Korra’s jealousy and simmering insecurities.  _

_ "And why don't you ever want to hold my hand in public? Is it that hard to show affection to me in front of others? Is it that embarrassing?" Korra goes on.  _

_ Kuvira catches her fists and holds them lightly as she gives Korra a sheepish but determined look. She smiles at her and Korra hates how her chest melts at the sight of it, despite her anger towards the other.  _

_ "I'm sorry, I'll make it up to, okay?" Kuvira says sweetly. _

_ "I know I haven't been the ideal girlfriend when it comes to being with you in public and most of that just comes from the nerves of never having been with a girl before and knowing how people view us" Kuvira offers.  _

_ "Hear me out, I made a reservation at a nice restaurant for our date tonight, so let's go and unwind okay?" _

_ Korra was tempted to just bask in all of Kuvira’s attention knowing that she was being sincere but Korra still felt mad over the argument and was feeling stubborn.  _

_ "No, I have other plans. Asami invited me to this party" she states, pulling her hands away from her girlfriend’s grip and backing up.  _

_ "And you shouldn't be worrying about other people, you should just be caring about me," Korra tells her.  _

_ There was a dullness that washes over Kuvira’s eyes that Korra knows as sadness and there was also some surprise because the two never failed to tell one another when they had prior plans.  _

_ Korra is about to turn and leave when she feels Kuvira’s hand wrap around her wrist. She is pulled back suddenly and into the soft chest of her girlfriend who hugs her close.  _

_ Korra feels warm and unconsciously leans back into the embrace, to which Kuvira burrows her face in her neck.  _

_ "I'm sorry if I made you mad, if it makes you feel better I won't acknowledge those boys again" Kuvira says softly. _

_ "I'll try to ignore what other people may think, they don't matter, only you do". _

_ Korra’s heart swelled at how cute his girlfriend is but the feeling of stubbornness didn't leave her.  _

_ "It's alright, I had already made the plans and forgot to tell you" Korra lied.  _

_ Truthfully she had neglected the offer from her friend a day ago but now she wanted to go. She feels an urge to show Kuvira that people might think they aren't lovers and try to shoot their shot, when all Korra wants is the other to show everyone she was hers. _

_ "Then I'll come with you, we'll go to the party together" Kuvira says into her neck before kissing it tenderly. _

_ Korra felt a warm tingle in her abdomen. Her girlfriend always had a way of softening her up that made Korra feel like putty in the others hands. _

_ "Okay" was all she could manage before they ended up in Kuvira’s dorm, losing themselves in each other like countless other times.  _

  
  
  


_ Korra feels sexy. She was wearing skin tight black leather pants with a silk, deep blue shirt under a light throw over jacket. Her short, brown hair is fluffy and neatly disheveled and she has fixed on some eyeliner so her bright blue eyes popped. _

_ Staring into the floor length mirror, she admires herself. A low whistle sounds behind her and Korra swiveled around to see Kuvira standing there. She blushes lightly when she walks towards her and slips her arms around Korra’s waist, pulling her closer and showing off a beautiful smile. _

_ "You look amazing, baby," Kuvira says.  _

_ She goes in for a kiss but Korra places a finger to her girlfriend’s delectable lips in order to stop her. Kuvira raises an eyebrow at the gesture but to Korra, in that moment, she looks goofy with her squished, puckered lips and confused expression. _

_ Despite that, she roams her eyes over Kuvira and appreciates how fine her girlfriend looks in her denim ripped jeans and plain white T-shirt under a purple bomber jacket. Her hair was left out of the usual braid and cascaded like a thick waterfall over her shoulders. Korra thinks about staying in and just devouring her but they had a party to be at.  _

_ "Say that to me when we aren't in the comfort of my dorm" Korra suggests with a smirk and a quirk of her own brow, to which Kuvira blushes and looks away embarrassed.  _

_ "Come on," Korra says and pulls the other out the door by her hand. _

_  
When they enter the house, Korra immediately feels eyes gravitate toward her, lingering and heated. But she didn't pay them any mind and let Kuvira guide them around until Korra noticed a slight frown to her features. She grips her hand tighter which made Korra smile.  _

_ The music was loud and there is already people drunk off their asses. Korra didn’t see Asami anywhere who had come earlier, saying she didn't want to miss anything and also to meet up with Zhu Li; a science geek Asami had befriended.  _

_ The couple spends the first hour just dancing and downing some drinks along with helping themselves to snacks. There were clusters of people playing rowdy party games or just straight hacking at each other's mouths in the middle of the room, some people were passed out on the stairs or the corners of the floor.  _

_ Korra stuck near Kuvira because the hungry gazes were getting to her and she was second guessing wearing something so tight. But Kuvira didn't think twice about placing her arm around Korra’s shoulders and just being the all around best company she always was, smiling and telling jokes so Korra would laugh. _

_ They were both leaning against the kitchen counter drinking moderately, their faces close and just a second away from making out when someone called out.  _

_ "Kuvira?" The couple looks over to where the voice was coming from. _

_ A girl with a group of people surrounding her gazed at them and Korra raised an eyebrow, noticing how Kuvira straightened up. She also didn't miss the way her girlfriend scooted away slightly, making Korra’s stomach twist.  _

_ She peers at Kuvira who has a conflicted look on her face but when she glanced down at Korra, who was sure her hurt was painted on her face, her eyes widen slightly before they soften and she scoots back closer to Korra, giving her an apologetic smile before addressing the girl in front of them.  _

_ "What's up?" Kuvira asked when the group of people came closer.  _

_ Korra takes in how the girl at the front looks between the two with slight interest and the way her eyes lingered on the Korra, roaming down her body has her instinctively stepping closer to Kuvira who was clenching her jaw.  _

_ "I didn't expect to see you at a party like this," the girl says. _

_ "My girlfriend wanted to come," Kuvira answers suddenly and Korra’s heart stutters.  _

_ She whips her head to look up at her green eyed beauty who was staring at the intruder intensely. Her heart was racing at the possessiveness that came from the other .  _

_ With a wave of the girl's hand, the group behind her disperse and it was only her left.  _

_ "Wow, Kuv. I didn't know you swung that way, last time I checked you liked dick and not pussy" the girl crudely comments.  _

_ Korra takes her in. She is half a head shorter than Kuvira, her black hair is pulled back into a neat ponytail and she wore a red jacket over a black turtleneck and some blue jeans. Her face, like Kuvira’s, is all angles and charm but instead of deep emerald eyes, this girl has pale, jade green eyes.  _

_ "People change" is all Kuvira says, taking Korra’s hand in hers.  _

_ An appreciated gesture because Korra is starting to feel hot under the other girl’s stare and having Kuvira’s hand laced with hers, gives her a sense of relief. _

_ "So introduce me. Who is this that captured poor old Kuvira’s heart and turned her gay?" The girl asks, leaning across from them at the centre counter.  _

_ There was something slightly bitter behind her words. _ __

_ "Korra" Kuvira answers straightforwardly.  _

_ The girl across from them hums, blatantly enjoying the view of blue eyed Korra and Kuvira clenches her fist.  _

_ "Was there something you needed?" She inquires nonchalantly despite her obvious annoyance, something Korra has never seen in the female. _

_ "Ah, yes" the other girl snaps her fingers in realization. _

_ "Baatar is having a heated tongue battle with a group of people over there" she points behind her towards the living room.  _

_ "And he looks off his wits". Kuvira’s grip on Korra’s hand loosens and the latter looks towards her, catching the shock and anger on her girlfriend’s face before she's darting from her side.  _

_ Korra is confused as she shouted after Kuvira who just disappeared around the corner.  _

_ "I'm Lin by the way" the girl finally introduces but Korra wasn't paying attention as she rounds the counter and goes to follow after Kuvira. _

_ But she is stopped by an arm around her waist and when she tries to pull away the girl, Lin, grips her closer.  _

_ "Let me go" Korra growls, trying harder to escape her clutch only to look into a smirking face. _

_ "I wouldn't go around there if I were you," Lin says, dipping down closer to Korra’s ear who rears back, still in the girl’s arms. _

_ "What do you mean?" Korra questions, confused by her words. _

_ "And who's Baatar?"  _

_ Lin just smiles at her and Korra feels a hand slide down her back and grabs her ass to which she gasps and aggressively pushes away from the girl. _

_ "Don’t touch me like that. You saw, I have a girlfriend” she frowns.  _

_ Lin shrugs. "Baatar is someone Kuvira is very fond of and I'm sure you won't be on her mind right now, so let's go do something. You and me"  _

_ She smirks, her eyes were very solid and void of emotion unlike Kuvira’s bright and warm ones. Yet she still had charisma in the way she smiled and spoke but Korra knew she was bad news. _

_ "What do you mean fond?" Korra continued with the subject she gained more interest in, wondering who this guy was that Kuvira was so ready to run to and leave her.  _

_ Korra feels her stomach knot. _ __

_ "Well if you insist, go look." Lin pushes off the counter and straightens his jacket. _

_ "But if you need a ride home, you can find me upstairs" she chuckles before turning away and walking to the right.  _

_ Korra didn't know what to make of the situation but she knows she feels a bit queasy. She blames it on the multiple drinks.  _

_ Korra moves from the kitchen and goes in the direction she saw Kuvira run off to but she stops just short of entering the living room at the sight laid out before her.  _

_ There was Kuvira against the wall with a boy leaning over her and her hand around his waist. Korra caught the look of soft concern on her face and her chest twisted painfully.  _

_ She just stands and watches as Kuvira carts her fingers through his hair in a loving manner as she whispers to him.  _

_ Korra is already fighting back tears when Kuvira looks up and sees her standing there. Korra sees the surprise and an apology already forming in her girlfriend’s face but she turns swiftly, ignoring the calls of her name.  _

_ That night she went home with Lin.  _


	5. Chapter 5

Korra bolted up panting with beads of sweat pricking against her forehead, her hand went to her chest and squeezed the fabric willing the wild beating of her heart to stop. Of what she remembered of that night, Korra had gone around drinking until she found Lin who comforted her all the way to the dorms; told her that those things happened and that not everyone was who you thought they were. How stupid she was, so fucking stupid. Her head was pounding now and her breathing labored.

"I don't want to remember all this, I don't. Why is this all coming back now?" She raised her head to the ceiling.

_If you want it to stop, I'll make it better._

Korra threw her covers over her head, not wanting the voice right now, not when she was remembering the worst year of her life.

_You know who did this. We were young Kor, I just broke._

Korra pushed off the quilt and stood up from the bed with her back facing the direction she knew the voice was coming from. "Don’t make excuses for me!" She shouted. 

"I did nothing! All I did was leave you!" Korra exclaimed. "And for what!? To live a life of unhappiness when all I do is want you with me? All I do is miss you?" She flopped into a sitting position on the edge of the bed.

_I also blame myself._

Korra furrowed her eyebrows at the ground and sniffled, how much of this could she really take? These emotions were crushing, she wanted to be done with it all. "How could you be to blame?"

_I didn't think of how you would feel and more than anything that's all I ever thought about; that and how much I loved you. You didn't do this Korra, I also left you._

Korra’s heart swelled at the thought. How could she have been so stupid to give up a love as special as the one she had with Kuvira? For a woman who only cared about the destruction of others. She was deceived. 

"Why? Why are you in my head? It's driving me crazy. I feel like I'm going insane thinking back through all these memories. Am I supposed to go through this heartbreak again? I don't think I can take it" Korra wiped her eyes, voice desperate and cracking. There was silence and for a moment she thought the voice had left but they spoke up again.

_Turn around, Kor._

The blue eyed woman was sobbing into hysteria, her mind was everywhere. Korra didn't want to turn around because she knew if she did, she would finally break. She would succumb to all the feelings coursing through her when she promised herself that day, promised Asami those multiple times that she wouldn't let them get to her. But her resolve was wavering, she didn't have the strength to hold out anymore. 

_It's time you let all this go, Korra. I'll make it better, come with me._

Shoulders shaking, breath uneven, Korra slowly gripped on to the others' words. Her body moved on its own like she wasn't in control. Korra felt a warmth on her hand as she finally looked into those sparkling green eyes she'd been so desperate to see again. 

_I told you. I'm here._

Korra’s tears seemed to increase as she stared at Kuvira standing there in all her beautiful glory, wearing her favourite earthy green pullover and that charming smile that always melted Korra’s heart without fail. Kuvira held out her hand, Korra couldn't remove her eyes from the others face but slowly slid her hand into the familiar warmth she's felt on a number of occasions. 

"You'll help me?" Korra asked with a small voice. 

_I will._

"You'll make this pain go away?" She was pulled to her feet by the love of her life. 

_When have I ever not tried to heal you, Korra?_

She was right. Kuvira was always there for her when she had problems or worries, either to cheer her up or help her through it. It made Korra’s heart ache more but she let the other girl guide her in her daze. They walked out of the apartment and into the hallway, Korra lifted her head slightly and looked toward the staircase. She was ready, it was time. 

She started in the direction of the door leading to the set of steps but the grip on her hand tightened. She moved once more but the grip pulled her back. Korra felt anger welling up and more tears formed in her eyes as she stared at the exit that she so desperately wanted. 

"Let me go!" Korra shouted, not caring who heard. 

_No._

"Let me go! You said you would help me!" She tried hard to get to the staircase door but was rooted by the warm hand that held on to her. 

_I will. But not like that, Korra._

"You liar! You lied to me. I have to go up there, I have to go up to the roof. You said to come with you, I want to be with you!" She cried. 

_That's not what I meant and you know it. This isn't how you let go._

"Oh God, please Kuvira. Let me go, I need this, I want this, I don't wanna go through the hurt anymore. I don't want this consuming guilt and regret anymore, please, please!" Korra relayed hysterically and fell to the floor. 

For a while she stayed there crying, if anybody came and went she didn't know and couldn’t bring herself to care. Korra knelt with her head buried in her hands, weeping and letting out all the pent up emotions she's been bottling up for years. Throughout the whole moment Korra just felt the warm embrace of Kuvira, letting her release everything. 

  
  
  


_It’s been a month since Korra has spoken to Kuvira even though the other girl has actively tried to gain her attention but after so much crying and wallowing, she has finally gotten some semblance of control back in her life under Asami’s guidance and comfort._

_During this time, Korra has befriended Lin who turned out to be more approachable and caring than she had first thought. She invites Korra out with her often and their conversations were always engaging and entertaining so when the older girl sidles up to her at her locker, Korra grins._

_“Hey, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you,” Korra says._

_Lin smirks. “You missed me that much?” She quips and steps closer to the blue eyed girl who blushes slightly and clutches the textbook in her hands._

_“N-no. I was just wondering” Korra dismisses sheepishly._

_Lin only chuckles._

_There is something about the older girl that makes Korra intrigued and wanting more even though she was very straightforward and crass. There is this inexplicable pull to her that was undeniable and made you want to fly right into it and get trapped. Like a moth to a flame as they say._

_Lin wraps her strong arm around Korra’s shoulder and pulls her flush to her side making the younger girl blush more._

_“I have something I want you to do for me,” she states and leans in so that her lips brushes against Korra’s ear who shivers._

_“Print these for me” Lin holds up a flash drive in front of her who looks at it, puzzled._

_“What is it?” She questions._

_There was a brief furrow to Lin’s brow before it smooths over and her easy gaze returns. Korra feels herself shiver for a different reason but pushes it down, it was just cold in the hall._

_“Don’t ask questions Korra. I’m only trying to help you heal” Lin shrugs. “Plus you’ll see what it is when you open the file.”_

_Korra takes the rectangular object and glances at the girl beside her who has put space between them. “Help with what?”_

_Lin grins but somehow it didn’t seem as charming. Something about it was different but Korra can’t put a finger on it. “Revenge” she says, her smile getting wider.  
_

_Korra knits her brows and looks down at the flash drive in her hand. It was black and red with a small spider image on the surface._

_“You’re my friend Korra and no one hurts my friends and gets away with it. Sometimes you have to take drastic measures to deal with a nuisance” Lin tells her as they walk to the end of the hall._

_Korra swallows thickly. When they round the corner she crashes into someone and stumbles back a little. She looked up and her breath hitches in her throat and her heart thuds violently._

_Kuvira stares at her in surprise before a shy smile graces her face that made Korra feel giddy and soft but she soon chides herself inwardly for feeling these after this same girl broke her heart. She should’ve known she wasn’t serious, she should’ve known she was just some experiment for her and all anew a hurt and angry feeling bridles through her and Korra grips the flash drive._

_If Lin was right and this will somehow get her revenge and end this inner turmoil in her chest, then she’ll gladly use it. Kuvira went to speak but Korra only steps around her without another glance, her heart irritably aching at the action._

_“Let’s go Lin,” Korra says indignantly._

_The other girl obliges and comes to her side. In her anger and unwillingness to look back less she succumbs to her heart’s desires and runs straight back into those steady and comforting arms, Korra didn’t notice the eerie stare down the other two girl’s had behind her back._

  
  
  


_“Korra don’t you think you’ve been hanging around that Lin girl too much?” Asami and her were sitting in the University’s cafeteria eating pizza when the raven haired girl voices her concern._

_Korra raises an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”_

_Asami sighs. “I didn’t want to burst your bubble since you’ve been returning back to yourself lately but I’ve heard things about her and they’re not great.”_

_“That doesn’t seem to be the same person Asami. Plus rumors are never truly truth” Korra dismisses with a shake of her head._

_“I’m serious Korra. Rumors may not always be true but that doesn’t mean they never are. The things people say--” the raven haired girl goes on._

_“Stop it Asami, this isn’t like you.” Korra cut her off. “I finally feel some type of normalcy after pitying myself over some girl who didn’t think twice about my feelings and now I’ve found another friend I could confide in and all of a sudden you're against it?”_

_Asami looked at her sadly. “She’s a Beifong, Korra” the other girl states as if it explains everything._

_“What does that mean?”_

_“It means she is as ruthless as that surname is famous for. That family was built on competition and rivalry. I’ve been to some of their family parties because of my dad and it never ends pretty, everyone is vying for the matriarch’s attention.” Asami informs._

_Korra’s eyes widen at her friend’s words. She came from a small village down south and was lucky enough to get her hands on such a big scholarship for RCU, a prestigious school for the rich and powerful and not being one for the vain with Asami being the exception, she wasn’t knowledgeable in this aspect._

_“But how does that play into me being friends with a Beifong?” Korra asks._

_Asami looks at her as if she grew a new head. “You haven’t realized it?” When the raven haired girl was met with a puzzled expression she rolls her eyes at her best friend._

_“Kuvira is a Beifong, Korra. It’s well known that Lin being the oldest is striving for the highest share of their family’s company. Kuvira is her adopted sister, the youngest of three. The second being Suyin who is in our advanced business class” Asami continues._

_Korra’s mouth falls open at this revelation. Kuvira was related to such a prominent family? Her mouth forms a thin line, I guess I really didn’t know her like I thought. She sighs and stares at her forgotten food._

_“Lin and Kuvira have a cutthroat rivalry. Since she was small, Kuvira has been a prodigy in everything she does and that includes business. She has the matriarch’s interest and Lin despises that. So for you to be hanging out with your ex-girlfriends competition looks bad in an outsider's eyes and I just want to make sure you’re not being played with.”_

_Korra was silent for a moment before a breathy chuckle escapes her lips which turns into a full laugh soon after. Asami looks at her weirdly as she tries to compose herself._

_“If anyone has played me, it was Kuvira” she said. “Leading me on into thinking she was into me when she already had her heart somewhere else.”_

_Asami opened her mouth to say something when a ruckus erupts near the doors of the cafeteria where a billboard display rests. The two friends have their attention dragged to a group of people who were talking loudly. They exchange glances before getting up and going over to see what was happening._

_When they push their way to the front of the crowd in order to get a better look, Korra's breath got catches in her throat. Multiple posters overshadow the other pinned notices of Kuvira’s X’d out face and the bold words ‘KILLER’ printed at the bottom._

_Korra’s heart thumps as she looks at the familiar picture, the same ones she printed in her anger and hurt for Lin who wanted to help get revenge for her. She turns to her right and saw a figure slip out the double doors and Korra hurry’s after them._

_Out in the silent hallway, there were many more posters adorning lockers and walls. Korra feels her gut wrenching._

_“Lin!” She calls._

_The older girl who had her hands clasped behind her back turns around and smiles. “Korra,” she says._

_“What is all this?” The blue eyed girl gestures around at the offensive posters, her conscience darkening by the minute._

_“What? These?” Lin scans around passively, the change in demeanor caught Korra off guard. “Isn’t this your revenge? Don’t you like it?” She walks closer._

_Korra gulps. Everything Asami just told her comes to mind. “I-I didn’t think we would do it like this” she stammers._

_The laugh that came wasn’t the same comforting laugh it always was, it was mocking. “Korra, why else would we print these? I thought you hated how she played with your feelings”_

_Lin steps closer and leans in until they were inches apart. “I thought you would want to show her what crossing you meant?” Her warm breath fans over Korra’s face and a hand came up to press firmly on her lower back, pulling her flush against the other._

_“I just want to help you Korra. I don’t want to see you hurt by her because I like you. I have for a long time now” Lin whispers._

_Korra’s heart almost stopped at her words. What? Lin Beifong likes her? How? What? Nothing was registering cleanly and she just stared at those jade green eyes that seemed to hold a lot of things behind them. She feels her heart thump recklessly as Lin brushes her lips against hers._

_“I would never hurt you Korra, so let me help you. I care about you” the light kiss soon turned into a deeper one and all of Korra’s thoughts flew out the window at how good it felt. Suppressing the aching feeling within her at them not being the ones her heart truly wanted but couldn’t have._

  
  
[••]

_Many weeks pass and rumors about Kuvira grew and circled around like wildfire. Most of them were dirty and mean and Korra felt like her chest was rotting from guilt at knowing how they came to be and who made them._

_People were scorning Kuvira left and right about her incestual relationship with her brother which made the blue eyed girl feel twice as awful and pained when he was revealed to be the same Baatar from the party.  
_

_There were people voicing disgust at the thought that she killed her birth parents to enter the Beifong registry and how she was an STD carrying gay._

_The next time Korra saw her ex-girlfriend she looks unrecognizable. Her face has lost its brightness, her eyes dull with bags under them. Her posture that had been confident and straight was now slumped and timid. She passes by Korra as if she didn’t know who the girl was and it stabs her so deep that she wanted to run after her and embrace those slightly trembling shoulders._

_But Korra didn’t dare. She feels the ghost of snake like jade eyes bearing down on her and roots her feet to where she stands. Lin had become a different person during their time together and Korra didn’t know how to handle it or how to break herself away. Something about the older girl kept her by her side even when she wants to tuck tail and run._

_Kuvira’s form disappeared and a chunk of Korra went with her every time. Suddenly a pair of arms wraps around her from behind and the blue eyed girl stiffens. The scent she’s come to associate with domineering power reaches her nose, a deep spice and earth._

_Lin presses her lips to Korra’s neck and tightens her hold. “Who were you staring at?” Her voice was not as jovial as it used to be, now it felt more like a vice wrapping around her throat._

_“No-nobody” Korra says softly._

_“Korra” the way Lin said her name made her frigid. It held no malice, no warmth, no love, just nothing. “I hope you’re not becoming complacent”_

_Korra swallows thickly. “You know how I dislike uncommitted people” Lin turns her around to gaze at her._

_Those jade eyes have become her ball and chain for a long time now that she didn’t even have the will to get rid of it based on it’s inevitable consequences. She was wrong, she long admitted that to herself. She was deceived and now there was no way out because she had chosen the wrong person and the cost was hefty._

_“Here” Lin pulls out a piece of paper. “Give this to her” Korra grips it as hard as those jade eyes grips her ankles._

_She nods without a word. Lin didn’t like questions, just people who did what she said. She’s learned that the hard way._

_“Come to the roof tonight. Let’s have some alone time” Lin backed away. “You will come right?” It wasn’t a question._

_Korra nods solemnly once again and the older girl smiles a spidery smile. She’s had her in her web for so long, toying with her, playing with her. Is tonight the night she finally ate her?_

  
  


_It was windy on the roof and the autumn night had a chill in the air, warning them of the oncoming winter. Korra was a nervous wreck as her mind ran a mile a minute asking questions like, how did things get this way? What is going to happen? Will she forever be shackled to those jade green eyes?_

_Lin was already there, leaning eerily in the shadows against a ventilation system. She looked over at Korra and smiled but the blue eyed girl knew it wasn’t friendly or inviting. As Lin walks over, a few other people emerges from behind her._

_“This is why you’re my favourite Korra, you listen and you arrive on time when I call for you” Lin caresses her cheek, eyes now enhanced by the night._

_“You did well in aiding me in my ambitions” the older girl’s spidery smile seems to branch out revealing more constricting web strings wrapping around Korra, finally engulfing her to be prepared for her prey's meal._

_Just as Korra was about to inquire which would've earned her a terrible backlash, the roof doors open and out steps a drained Kuvira who looks confused until she saw Korra, missing the large arachnid eyeing her two meals in glee._

_Kuvira managed a warm smile at the blue eyed girl who’s stomach lurches at the guilt she possesses and her heart thumped giddily at the love it held. Their eyes locked and it felt as if everything faded away and they were back in her dorm, cuddled up and just enjoying each other's company.  
_

_Korra missed it, missed her so much but it was too late for remorse, too late to look back and before she knew it, Kuvira’s face morphs into horror just as Korra feels a cold steel at her neck with the smell of deep spice and earth clinging to her._

_“Hello, sister” Lin spits the endearment out with venom, something Korra has come across the first few times she had decided she wanted out and tried to leave._

_“Lin...what are you doing? Let her go!” Kuvira exclaims, coming forward only to be held back by the other people around them._

_“I can’t do that. You were so kind to give me this bait for my game, it’s only right that I use it well.” Lin chuckles humorlessly._

_Korra knows there was fear in her eyes and Kuvira looks at her with such softness that it made the dam break after so long and bold tears streams down her face. I don’t deserve that look, not anymore._

_“Awe. sister you broke my toy and she was doing so well. Even when I took my frustrations out on her” Lin sighs as if this worried her greatly._

_“What do you want. I’ll give you whatever, just don’t hurt her. This is between you and me, always have been” Kuvira glares at the girl that held the love of her life hostage._

_A cackle rang out into the dark, long and piercing. Lin took a breath as she calms down. “So selfless. I always knew you were not fit for the Beifong family. Why my mother insisted on bringing an ingrate like you off the streets still eludes me.”_

_“I want you gone Kuvira. It’s that simple. We both know Suyin doesn’t stand a chance between the two of us, her wanting to be an architect and crap. So for me to get what I want I splurged and I was offered a gold mine.” Lin hugs Korra closer, leaning down._

_“She’s a very good fuck too.” She laughs and Korra lowers her head in utter shame, not wanting to meet Kuvira’s eyes; couldn’t._

_“Kill yourself Kuvira and then I’ll let your little girlfriend go” Lin offers and Korra whips her head around as far she could to look at the girl behind her._

_“What!? No!” She yells._

_Lin stares down at her with empty eyes and Korra suddenly felt the ball and chain tug her harshly to the depths. The older girl back handed her right across the face and Korra tasted blood and saw stars in her peripherals._

_“Lin!” Kuvira called and rips away from her holders only for a blazing jade green to meet a frantic emerald green and the tip of a sharp blade painfully poking into Korra’s throat who was still disoriented._

_“Do what I say Kuvira, or she goes” Lin snarls, composure erased._

_“No, Kuvira! Don’t” Korra grunts out and felt a prick and warm liquid spill down her neck._

_“Shut the fuck up or I slice you open. Be good for me like you’ve always been. She doesn’t love you. She loves her brother, She’s disgusting. I can give you whatever you need” Lin growls near her ear._

_Korra knew she was lying, knew there was nothing this person could give her that she truly needed. The one thing she wants was right in front of her and if only she could escape this web she had blindly flown into and run into the arms of who her heart desired. If only she hadn’t lied to herself and listened._

_“Okay” those words were like the last cork in her restraint as it was pulled out and she was swallowed whole by the darkness and she could do nothing but cry and allow it._

_Lin laughs heartily, maniacally. It swirls around Korra relentlessly in it’s chase to crush her._

_“No, please” Korra’s meek voice comes out under the sobs and she looks up to see emerald eyes twinkling with tears of their own._

_“Do it while I’m still being nice, Kuvira! Or I will dirty my own hands and we both know you’re no match for me”_

_The people holding onto the other girl’s arms let go and she shakily stood straight. Eyes not leaving Korra who looks away only for rough hands to wrench her head back up and hold it there._

_She was made to stare at the only light she could see walk and fade away. Kuvira climbs to the edge of the roof and stands still, looking down at the ground so very far away and then she lifted her head to the sky. Lin was right, she was never made for the family she was brought into against her will. Her origin questionable, her heart was too sympathetic, too cowardly and even now she selfishly relished in the out she was given._

_“This is your revenge, my little toy. Revel in it” Lin laughs lowly._

_When Kuvira glances back, Korra tries to shake her head since her words being restricted by the thick webbed threads that held her. But it was too late, she chose the wrong path and this was her cost. The light in front of her soon vanished and she was left to be consumed by the last bit of darkness._

  
  
  
  


When Korra finally stopped bawling, she stared at the floor not knowing what to do with the empty void that was now in her chest. 

_Do you trust me?_

Kuvira’s voice came into her ear after a long time. Korra nodded slowly, "I do". 

She was then pulled up and walked with a sluggish demeanor to the elevator and rode it down to the lobby. Kuvira stayed by her, the glow Korra hadn't noticed before, giving off comfort and warmth. 

They made a journey across town with Korra clinging to her ex-lovers hand until they came face to face with Asami’s door. She stared at the hard wood and slowly realized that the hand she had been gripping had faded. Her chest clenched but she frowned soon after, she couldn't keep going like this, who knows what she'd do?

_You'll always be the one I love but let me go Korra, you've kept me here long enough. I want to rest and not have to worry. I want to look down and see you smiling not crying. Go._

And then the air was still, there was no more warmth, just the cold air attacking Korra’s exposed skin. The tears were never-ending as she knocked against her best friend's door. It took a couple tries but it soon opened and there stood Asami in the door frame, her eyes widened at a shivering, crying and distraught looking Korra. When their eyes met, Asami’s face softened and pulled her into a tight embrace and she buried her face into the woman’s shoulder. 

"I've been waiting," Asami said softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys, so much for reading and all the Kudos and comments I've gotten. I know this took longer than was supposed to since I've been focusing on TOFLA. But I've finally finished this one.
> 
> It was always meant to be a short story so I feel even worse for making you wait so long for the last chapter, hehe. 
> 
> P.S I may continue with this universe as a kind of afterwords kind of thing, like one shots. Some may be of Kuvira and Korra when they were together in between the story’s events and maybe some after the stories end. I’ll see. 
> 
> Thanks again and I hope you guys liked it.


End file.
